Dear President Obama,
I know that our Prime Minister Gillard has agreed to establish a US military base in Darwin - so American troops can wage war across our region as well as the Middle East - but I wanted to write to you directly with a better offer.
I am pretty sure that you and the American people won't have any objection to a foreign military base in the US homeland. So let’s do a deal whereby you get your base in Darwin and we get a new base in say California. How about Alcatraz - nice views and a central location and I hear it even has a water supply these days?
Your base will clearly have full military capability - and will enable your 2500 elite forces stationed there to rampage across our region to their hearts' content. B52's, nuclear submarines, the whole shebang - no worries.
Nothing quite so ambitious for us I am afraid - we are looking for an enclave to house maybe 1000 people - which is the entire living complement of Australian federal and state politicians - all political parties. You even get the wives and pets. Sorry their Gold Amex's stay here.
They aren't doing us much good so I thought that you might have more success. I was thinking of shipping them across using our six Collins class submarines - you might even be able to find a use for them as well.
So what do you think? BTW I wouldn't muck about because I hear that young Ms. Gillard may not be in the job for much longer and it will be a bit difficult to renegotiate your deal if she isn't.
Yours etc.
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